But wait, there's more!

I got laid off on Monday.

So far, my 2010 has been excellent.

Deep down I think it's a blessing in disguise, but right now I'm battling feelings of bitterness. I have turned myself inside out for that place for 2.5 years, and they make me work on my day off (Sunday), let me buy lunch, then kick my ass to the curb. Jackasses.

Yesterday I took advantage of my new-found freedom and filled my day with yoga, swimming during the day (SUN!!!), playing with the dog, and purging my room of work shirts and other borrowed stuff. I went to the shop and dropped said stuff off, picked up any of my stuff that was there, and planned to walk away forever. Unfortunately, I need someone to build my mountain bike, so I'm bribing the ex with a bottle of wine (per his request) to build it for me. When I actually get dressed today I will take it to the shop. Not really looking forward to it.


I have been interviewing for a position in MN that I'm still waiting to hear on, and got a couple leads yesterday, so I am cautiously optimistic about another job. I filed for unemployment this morning, and am trying to get COBRA going so that I'm not completely screwed. My coach has offered to work with me on payment and for that I will love her forever. It would be really depressing if I lost all semblance of structure in my life.

Once again I am happily overwhelmed by how good some of the people in my life are. I posted on Facebook that I got laid off and had a bunch of people offer condolences, leads on something new, or just send me messages saying they were sad to see me go. I got a call yesterday from a long-distant work colleague telling me that I had his support (and that of his boss) and he would do what he could to help me. It's really good to hear things like this after feeling so alone and unloved for so long.

Last weekend I spent some time with the ex's roommate's girlfriend, who I adore. I haven't known her long, and we had never really spent time alone together, but it was awesome. We didn't do much, just went for a walk and talked and watched Scrubs episodes on DVD, but having someone that would do that with me, and who knew the characters causing problems in my life was huge. She offered a perspective that I hadn't seen, and made it easier for me to find a healthier state of mind about the breakup. I will be hanging out with her again.

With any luck I will have happy news to report fairly soon. Cross your fingers!

Turning a corner

It's a little too early to tell, but I think I might have hit rock bottom of my "big changes" greiving process and now be on an upswing. It has only been two days, and I haven't had to work with the ex yet to test this theory, but I'm feeling pretty darn good about things. Now if it would just quit all this stupid raining so I can go outside without being freezing and miserable, I will be a happy camper.

Lately my happy things are yoga (which I wish was every day with my favorite teacher because I like it so much), www.textsfromlastnight.com, hot tea to offset the cold drearyness, and estrogen fueled dinners with my long-lost potty training buddy Ashley. I am also freshly excited about racing XTERRA, and am hoping to have enough cash when the time comes to do most, if not all of the cup races. If I'm a good girl and follow my training plan I might get fast and be able to go to Maui for Worlds again. And that would rock. I also want to do cyclocross in the fall. I think that might be fun in a "my lungs are bleeding" kind of way.

I'm also hoping that the rain stops so my dog will go back to her going outside to pee ways, instead of using the carpet or MY BED because she doesn't want to get wet. Until she can prove that she is trustworthy, she will be spending nights in her crate. Because I'm really tired of washing the comforter.

New Year, missing the happy

My training is picking up, and my puppy hasn't puked in my bed recently. So that's good.

The whole firing of the bf is not going so well, so I have been enjoying a bunch of feelings of hurt and rejection and pissed-offedness, compounded by the fact that I work with the source of these feelings and have to see him at least four times a week. It's excellent. On the bright side, the plethora of shitty emotions makes me feel sick to my stomach pretty much constantly, so I have lost weight. Plus, I work out harder when I'm upset. Maybe I will get all ripped and hot and stuff.

Now would be a great time for some giant to pick me up and drop me in another part of the country/world/universe. Especially if I could take a bike.

Happy (belated) new year!

My old laptop got traded in for a shiny new functional one, so I have no excuse not to blog now. Oh boy!

Since the last time I blogged, I got a new car and a puppy, broke up with new boy, and switched coaches to the fabulous Coach Felicia of Pinnacle Training Systems (check them out!). For 2010, I'm hoping for more change, namely a change in location.

I think I have something in the works, but it's really too early to tell.

My 2010 pseudo-resolution is to find myself the change that I crave, continue to keep the bad people at bay (a la 2009 resolution), and try to avoid the emotional sink holes that I kept finding myself in this last year.

And to be fast and fit and happy and all that.

Happy new year!!!

Updates (since I'm lacking in the blogging department)

I haven't convinced myself to write a race report for XTERRA Nationals, which was held in Ogden Utah for the first time this year. I sucked terribly, but I expected that, so it was fun. Bumpy as hell, but still fun. My season is officially over now, which makes me happy. I need to start over.

In other news....

I had to get a cervical biopsy a while back, but I don't have cancer, so that's good.

I found an awesome new chiropractor/ART person, so my hip/leg pain is getting much better.

All my friends who went to Kona kicked butt. Good job!

That's all I've got.

Race Attempt: XTERRA Lake Tahoe

Last weekend was weird. I had registered for XTERRA Lake Tahoe after Portland because I thought I might need more points to get to Nationals. Like two days after I registered I got my invite to Nationals, but decided to go to Tahoe anyway because I had already paid. My friend Carrie was supposed to come and it was going to be all fun and road-trippy.

It was a little different than that.

Carrie had to fire two people at her job so she had to stay home and cover their shifts. I had booked a hotel already, so was just going to go solo. On Thursday my friend Sabine (we have met/facebooked/seen each other in yoga class, but had never hung out) came to the shop and asked if I just wanted to go with her and her friend Damien that were both racing. I said sure, but she had to drive because I didn't have enough room in the car for three people and bikes and stuff.

She picked me up Friday morning and informed me after we left that she had no AC in her car. We had to drive through the valley. It was really really hot even before we got to the valley. Shit. Not good.

It was really hot.

We picked up Damien in Stockton, and it turns out I had met him in Folsom in March this year. He wanted to go swimming at UoP and it was hot so we did. I got sunburned. Eventually we got back on the road and were really hot. I got a popsicle in Auburn, and was only mildly uncomfortable by the time we got to Incline Village. We stayed at Damien's friend's house, and I sat around while Sabine and Damien worked on their bikes.

We picked up packets and got dinner Friday night, and had an extensive debate over where people would be sleeping. Damien took the couch, Sabine the air mattress, and I took the floor.

Race morning I went pee and it was orange. I don't handle the heat well at all.

I tried to eat and drink but had the usual race morning jitters, packed my stuff up and waited around because Damien kept forgetting things and made us late. We got to the race at 7:15, and the race started at 8:00. So not good for my control freak sensibilities.

I rushed through setting up my transition, body marking, and getting into my wetsuit, found Dave and Meiling (my XTERRA usuals) and headed to the water with Meiling. This was the same course as XTERRA Nationals last year, without the 35 degree weather and recent rain. The trek from transition to the water was a long one, and I didn't bring shoes. I got in the water for a couple minutes, but had to get out and line up before I got much warm up time.

The swim: 1500 meters (two loops, beach run)

Nothing terribly noteworthy. I felt steady, didn't get clobbered, saw a crayfish (or crawdad? I don't know). Felt like crap on the beach run, second loop was more of the same. I love swimming in that lake, the water is so beautifully clear and even tastes good. Ran/walked towards transition while I wrestled with my wetsuit.

Meiling was already in transition. WTF?!?! She has never beat me out of the water! Right after I got there, Dave arrived. Apparently that was a terrible swim for me.

The bike: 22 miles of climbing galore.

I felt like hell. On the long climbs I had no power. My eyes wouldn't focus fully. Walking took more effort than usual. I thought about quitting every five minutes, but there are no easy bail-outs on the course so you might as well finish. What was fast smooth single track last year was deep sand this year. It was hot. It was a full-on trudge-fest.

I don't remember my foot starting to hurt at any one point, I just remember it killing me. Walking hurt, weighting the foot hurt, and standing up while descending was killer. I finally made it back to transition and couldn't put weight on the ball of my left foot. I sat down at my transition and burst into tears. Meiling, who was already done with the whole race, rushed over and took me to the medical tent where they gave me pain killers and ice. I probably sat there for an hour, enough time for Dave to finish, awards to be held, and the food line to die down.

I didn't run.

Finishing the race wouldn't make or break anything, and Nationals was a month away. If something was really wrong, running might just make it worse.

*************************************************

After the race Sabine, Damien, and Damien's friend Nick decided they wanted to go to the beach. Apparently I didn't get the memo that we weren't going back to the house after the race, so I hung out in my race suit for four hours or so, while they hung out in clean clothes. I got sunburned. Nick turned out to be Nick Diaz, an apparently well-known MMA fighter, so we learned all about boxing and crap like that. Eventually everyone decided they were hungry, and Sabine and I both had to convince Damien that we should go back to the house, seeing as I was still wearing a chamois.

My three cohorts decided they wanted to have sushi for dinner, and I agreed since most sushi places have non-fish options. This place had no such options. I had vegetable tempura and edamame for dinner. The chef came over to geek out over Nick and offered him and his friends "treats" (apparently weed-laced desserts). So random.

At about 8:30 Sabine and I finally headed home. It was still hot in the valley. I got home at about 12:30.

I think I'm still dehydrated.

Not my favorite weekend.

XTERRA Portland Race Report

After about a month of shlumping around and not wanting to do anything, I decided I needed to get back into the racing routine. I got a new coach, a new bike (the pink bike is moving on), and a new race focus. First up: XTERRA Portland.

I have family just south of Portland that were more than happy to put me up for a couple days, so I packed up the trusty old Corolla, and drove up to Pleasanton on Wednesday night for my Thursday morning departure. I figured getting past most of the potential Bay Area traffic spots would make my morning a little shinier. It did. Thursday morning I re-packed the car, picked up a breakfast burrito, water, and Diet Dr. Pepper, and hit the road.

The drive wasn't bad, I got to work on my car singing in a big way. Snapped pictures of Mount Shasta as I drove by, and kept my front seat stocked with a variety of car food. My friend Katy from Fresno was taking a road trip to Seattle and was about six hours ahead of me, so it was kind of fun to see where she was in relation to me (via FB status, of course). I stopped in Eugene to visit my friend Andy and to stretch my legs for about half an hour. I had my first run in with the "Oregon is full-service" gas stations, and made it my aunt Mike and Mary's house in time for a late-ish dinner.

Friday I hung out with my uncle (who very accurately compared himself to Shrek, he's a freaking giant), visited with my grandparents who I hadn't seen in years, saw my other aunt Mary Della who was going in for back surgery while I was racing, and went to (Mike's) Mary's vet hospital, where I was forced to play with a Corgi puppy, watch a Mastiff get X-rayed, and assist in a Poodle's ultrasound. Terrible stuff, I tell you!

Saturday morning I got all geared up and drove to the race venue. It was being held at a lake south-west of Portland, and my mapquest directions were two pages long, so I was nervous about getting there in time. For some reason Mapquest had me avoid all major roadways and take farm roads, which was pretty, but a little weird. All went smoothly and I ended up getting there way too early. Oh well!

Once the race people got check-in set up I picked up my packet and set up my transition, then sat around a bunch. I ran into one of my customers and his girlfriend who were racing, so at least I knew someone. They introduced me to a girl that moved from the Bay Area to Portland last year and had just done an Ironman, and we compared "I have literally only swam/biked/run XX times since the race" stories. She was nice.

The pre-race meeting was interesting. This was the first time an XTERRA had been put on in the Portland area, so the race organizers were definitely hoping they did things right. The website didn't say if wetsuits were allowed. The race director informed us that the water was warm enough that the pros were not allowed to wear suits, and age groupers were REQUIRED to wear suits, per USA Triathlon rules. People freaked out. Some baggy swim trunk-clad hillbilly guy started screaming at the race director. Someone eventually informed the race director that the actual USAT rule was that suits were optional, so Mr. Swim Trunks could relax.

When the race director described the bike course he said "at one point you will come to a sign saying 'Bridge is out' and an arrow pointing to a detour toward the left. You are going right. Mandatory dismount, cross the bridge, and scale the cliff on the other side."

Hmmmmm....that's different.

The swim: 1000 meters

Nothing terribly eventful here. The beach start was spread out enough that there wasn't much traffic, and things went pretty smoothly. I got out of the water feeling surprisingly good considering my lack of swim training lately. There was one weird spot getting out of the water where the regular dirt stopped and the beach started that required stepping up a 3 foot embankment. It was slippery when I got to it, and apparently as more people used it, it got so slick that people were falling on their faces and coming into transition covered in mud.

T1 took way too long.

The bike: supposed to be 25k

OMG, it was freaking gorgeous! We started out on the road, heading counter-clockwise around the lake, and dropped into some singletrack that took us back in a clockwise direction. I saw one girl in my age group go by me on the road section, and dropped into the singletrack behind another girl in my AG. I stayed on her wheel through the section. When we got spit back out on the road, I think she was a little freaked out as we had seen a guy that destroyed his front wheel, and the course was super twisty and rooty and technical (and awesome!)

We continued heading clockwise around the lake, riding short road sections and dropping into the trees. It was seriously the best singletrack I have ridden. There were bridge crossings, short steep climbs, mud, trees, meadows, and awesome descents. I stopped to check on one lady who had crashed and cut her knee open, and was afraid another guy was hurt, but turned out to be picking and eating blackberries mid-race. I picked off another girl in my AG, but knew the super fast girl was still up there. As far as I knew I was still on the podium!

Way at the end of the bike leg (which was at least two miles longer than it was supposed to be) we came to the bridge detour. What used to be a bridge with a railing (just like one I had earlier crashed into with my hip) was just two 2x6 planks covered with wire for traction over a stream. I shouldered my bike and walked across, only to be faced with a wall of dirt. About 15 feet above where I was standing was where we were supposed to continue on our way. I didn't see a way up...WTF? I let a guy who was behind me go in front and watched him shoulder his bike with one arm and pull himself up the wall using tiny foot holes and a rope that was hanging from a tree at the top. Holy crap! I hauled myself up, thanking my lack of self-control for having a light bike and laughing with the girl that was behind me. Shortly thereafter, we arrived in transition once again.

T2 was faster than the first one, but still slow.

The run: originally 4.35 miles, extended to 5.5 miles on race morning.

The run sucked for a couple of reasons. I didn't eat enough on the bike so I was pretty cooked by the time I got to the run. The course was two loops that started with singletrack, had a long section on the road, and hooked back onto the dirt that was made treacherous with lumps of grass and rocks and bees. I didn't get hurt or stung, but I had no energy and walked more than I would like to admit. I got passed by one girl in my AG that I know was behind me, and saw the speedy girl finishing her second lap as I was out on my first.

I crossed the line, changed, got in line for the free BBQ and waited for the awards. They must have had someone protest or something and I waited for an hour and a half to hear my AG results and never did. I packed back up and went to my uncle's house to shower and eat some more. We spent more time with my grandparents, and all went to bed early.

Sunday morning we went out to breakfast to celebrate my uncle's birthday, and I got back in the car and headed south. As usual, my post-race traffic tolerance level was lacking, and I subjected a few people to some whiney phone calls (sorry guys). When I was almost back to Pleasanton a Subaru pulled up next to me with a waving arm hanging out the window. It was Katy!!! Apparently her road trip included a stop in Pleasanton as well, but it was super random!

When the results were finally posted I found out that I got 4th in my AG out of 11 starters (10 finishers). Considering this was my new fast age group and my lack of training, I'm very happy with the result!

All in all it was an awesome trip that I will definitely try to do again next year!

Next weekend: XTERRA Lake Tahoe!