I promise I will write a proper race report eventually

So I finished the Ironman. It was hard. Not that it is surprising, hard is kind of the point.

I probably should be more excited about the whole thing, but I'm really not. I'm a little embarassed. I think I should have done better. I KNOW I should have trained better, but there were things I could have done or not done that would have made a difference. I feel like I want to put it behind me and move on, which is impossible since everyone wants to talk about it.

Ev-ry-one.

I almost have a new coach with seemed all shiny and cool because it could be my post-iron new start, but all he wanted to talk about was why I sucked (not really, he wouldn't say that) and chastise me for not training enough. Guess what? I already knew that. Let's just chalk it up to a learning experience and move right along, k?

So between now and when I have time to sit down and blog again, I will leave you with an extremely abbreviated version of my "race"

Swim: "Aw crap here we go...holy crap waves...panic attack...swim swim swim....kick some guy in the balls....swim...run...swim...waves are bigger....gonna die...swim..swim...yay done!"

Bike: "Damn I'm slow...pedal pedal pedal pedal...OMG hills....OMG HILLS....OH. MY. GAWD. hills....whew flat....food...waaa!!! I have to do it again?!?!....no Mr. Medic, I was not throwing up....HILLS KILLS....la la la.....I'm done!

Run: "Crap, my legs are broken....oh look, it's raining....run/walk...walk/run....err....walk/walk...pee...pee...pee...pee...OMG pee....this is fucking stupid....power walk..."Dad, my foot is BROKEN!!! It is!!!! *SOB* I SWEAR, it's BROKEN!!!"...poncho and rain....heh Elliott came to check on me....ok, I have two hours to walk 4 miles....I can do that....ow ow ow ow everything hurts....OMG now my non-athletic brother came to check on me....can see the finish...blisters exploding like finish line fireworks...and I'm spent."

The end.

You know you want to read the not-from-concentrate version.

Spring Cleaning

Yesterday I went on a cleaning binge.

I tore my room apart and put it back together, resulting in three bags of garbage and one bag for Goodwill leaving my little space. I swept up the dust bunnies (note to self, wood floors throughout the house + shedding dog = nasty), did all the laundry and dishes, bleached the sink (because I found a bottle of SoftScrub (!!!) which is awesome stuff), made my bed, and even put the new wheels on the track bike pieces so it's one wobbly pseudo-bike instead of pieces on the floor.

I found bills from my old house in Fresno. It's a little ridiculous.

Now I feel like a good little adult, with my room clean, my bills paid, my laundry done, my flight to Spokane booked, and my rental car reserved. I'm surprisingly calm about the impending IM, especially considering I fell off the training bandwagon to the point that I'm pretty sure it has now made it's way to Peru or something without me. My justification is that I have been sickly and freaking exhausted, and it's better to toe the line undertrained than sick and slightly more fit. Please don't feel the need to share if you disagree.

I talked to one of my customers today about the race and she was super reassuring, telling me that training here is perfect for that race as the terrain is so similar. She says I can do it, and that's good enough for me.

New boy and I got into a big ugly thing (I'm not sure it's a fight, it was more of a "you are being insecure and stupid you need to stop now" kind of thing) last week so I went and had my toes done. I love them. Pink with cherry blossoms. Pretty much the cutest toes ever. I wasn't paying attention and gave the girl a 50% tip. I figure she deserves it since I was crabby and didn't want to talk to her and I love my toes now.

New boy is behaving now, so that's good.

Hope all is well with you!

Update

Since my last exceedingly cheerful post, I have...

-Been ride-stalked by another old man whilst training. This one happened to be the founder/owner of Specialized. It was weird.

-Not raced.

-Not trained very much due to a lazy immune system.

-Had things at work improve exponentially due to the firing of useless people and the hiring of a very effective person.

-Been paid for my modeling stint last month!!! In the amount of about 2/3 of one of my regular paychecks, which is freaking awesome! AND the check stub says "action model" on it, so I will probably save it because it's cool.

-Been generally happy.

I'm not complaining!

Everybody is high maintenance and it really should stop

I started to cry a little at work today because I had reached my capacity for asshats and apparently today was asshat day. Ugh. Stupid people. Yelling at me over the phone is not a good way to get me to kiss your ass.

So instead of spinning I sat in the fit studio and bitched which was kind of funny because my boss told me someday I will find a good guy that's not intimidated and I kinda sorta maybe have a new official boyfriend. Tee hee!

I think I want to go bowling. But mostly because I'm watching tv and they are bowling.

I went for a ride on Sunday (in the middle of the day and it was 96 degrees and it almost killed me) and had some old dude ruin it a little for me. I came up on him and passed him, which was apparently not ok, so he cranked down on his downtube shifters and got on my wheel, explaining that he was just resting before he went on his way. Then I passed him on all the little rollers and he passed me on the little descents because I was doing an easy ride and was just coasting. Eventually I just sat in behind him because I was tired of passing him but it was slow and it ruined my view of the reservoirs and I felt kind of weird about riding with a stranger so I left him for a while and thought I was free. Sadly he found me again and told me a bunch of crap about how I have a smooth cadence and a steady pace and I just wanted to ride alone, dammit! My solution was to do extra climbing, which worked quite well.

It's still really hot though. And all the windows are open and the AC is on, which amuses me because my roommate is a tightwad and he's the one that opened them and turned it on. But then again he has a new girlfriend so he probably doesn't want to appear cheap. Gross.

Oceanside 70.3 Race Report

Here it is, in all it's overly-detailed splendor!

I drove down to San Diego on Friday morning at 5:30am which hurt a little bit, but was much better than sitting in traffic all day. I had lunch with the Ex in Irvine (and made him work on my bike) and then got to Oceanside a little after noon. I wasn't nervous until I could see the ocean, then I freaked out a little. Picked up my packet, hopped in the car, drove to Solana Beach to visit Dan at B&L and pick up a bike for work, then drove to Pacific Beach to John's house where I took a fatty nap. It was delicious. When John and Tracy got home we went to an adorable little Italian restaurant where I ate my weight in pasta. Went back to the house, packed up my race stuff, and went to bed.

I got lucky in that John had to be up at 4:00am for something he was doing later in the day, so he had oatmeal waiting for me when I woke up. Such service! After breakfast I hopped in the car and drove back up to Oceanside. Happily, I have mastered the art of shoving all my stuff into a small bag for transition, so the ride from the parking lot to transition was a lot less awkward than it could have been. I found my rack (in what might have been the longest transition EVAR) and set up my space. Talked to a bunch of girls, got partway into my wetsuit, stood in line for the bathroom, made friends in the potty line, watched the pros come through, wished I had thought to bring some shitty socks to keep my feet warm while I waited around, got into line with the rest of the purple caps to start.

Swim:

Favorite thing #1: my neoprene squid lid.

The water actually wasn't that cold, but my head was so toasty-warm with that thing on it was all I could think about. My wave was fairly small and the start area was pretty wide so the beginning-of-the-swim beating was minimal. I caught a bunch of women from the wave in front of me (4 min ahead of me) and the wave before them (8 min ahead of me) which was encouraging. I did a much better job of sighting than I did at XTERRA, so only got a little lost. Could have gone faster I think, but I felt fast and springy when I got out of the water, so I'm not complaining.

Bike:

Favorite things #2 and 3: Perpetuem and BBB cages.

I had decided to try something a little different for my nutrition on the bike. I had been using Perpetuem on my training rides so I knew it wouldn't screw with me (a la CarboPro 1200), so I made a bottle with five servings of powder instead of the normal one to two. And it was AWESOME. I carried that bottle and a bottle of water and it went down smooth and I felt strong and energized and never had my blood sugar crash with accompanying dark, twisty thoughts. No tantrums for me! Also, my BBB bottle cages kept my bottles safe and sound so I didn't launch any like I saw tons of other people do. Yay!

Overall, I felt really good on the bike. My position felt dialed, legs felt fresh, I stayed relaxed and took it easy on the first half per E's instructions and was fine on the climbs. Had some fun picking people off in the later miles. Only issue I had was some nasty chafing in my - umm - sensitive regions. Seeing as I had almost the same thing happen at Big Kahuna last year, I think my race suit may become an XTERRA-only suit so I don't have it happen again. Ouchy.

Run:

Favorite thing #4: Learning how to distract myself

I was definitely tired coming off the bike, so the shuffle started early. I tightened my shoes too tight in transition and my feet were completely numb for the first five miles (ish...I kept thinking that they would come to, but it never happened on its own). Eventually I stopped to loosen them and loosen my timing chip strap and I regained feeling. I walked the aid stations, ate or drank at almost all of them, and learned that if I repeated the lines to the song that was stuck in my head, I could ignore the parts of my body that hurt and just keep going. The Ex was there taking pictures (he was there on the bike too, I just forgot to mention it) so it was nice having someone cheering for me - even with all the people cheering for Amys (there were a ton of girls with my name) and with people having their names on their race numbers. In the finishing chute a lady edged past me so we ended up sprinting for fun. She hugged me and thanked me for the extra push and we got our picture taken. It was fun.

Post race I made a beeline for the food tent and ate four pieces of pizza. I found one of my customers so we talked for a bit before I went and packed. The Ex was waiting and congratulated me, then I got on the phone with E and the couple of customers and got congratulated and was told my splits. The result:


22nd place in AG in swim
23rd AG bike
23rd AG run

23rd out of 62 in age group

Overall time 6:06:26

Run time: 2:07:51

Reasons why this is awesome:
1. I have NEVER been that consistent in a road triathlon. Ever.
2. I have never been in the top half of the finishers in my age group in a road tri. 23/62 is definitely upper half.
3. Overall time was a PR, set at an easier race.
4. Run time was a PR, previously set at a half marathon, not a triathlon.

Yay for me!

Now I get to be all sunburned and peely, and I even have my number and age burned onto my body. Wonder how long that will be there?

Blah, blah, blah

I'll get to the race report in a minute. I have to vent.

Dear Guy I Know,

You need to be less annoying. I know I made a bad decision or two in the past, but when you ask if I want to be left alone and I say yes, that probably means you should leave me alone. It doesn't mean you should come back to my work (that you only left from a couple hours ago, after getting tired of yelling at me) to ask what I mean about wanting to be left alone. When I say I don't want to hang out, I'm tired and need to get groceries, I mean just that. Go home. Quit being so needy. Oh, and by the way, I don't have major issues about the way I look, but you mentioning that I need to learn portion control and shit like that is not going to make me like you. It just means you are an ass.

Sincerely Annoyed,
Me


*************************************************************************

In other, less annoying news, I am totally a model. I'll be able to prove it to you this summer-ish. So that will be cool.

I went to charming(ly meth-riddled) Colfax, CA for the past two days to do a photo shoot for the Specialized 2010 catalog. Hopefully I don't look retarded. It was pretty fun, except for riding in the rain and then having the rain turn into snow. That was cold and it made my fingers hurt. Also, the eating candy all day and then getting a little car sick wasn't great. But it was still slightly awesome.

Ironman California 70.3

It was really really good.

I'm too tired to blog right now, but I wanted to let you know that it was good.

Night!